Sleep Is For The Weak
by InuKag01234
Summary: Who needs an alarm clock when you have a screaming biology project?


**Hi all, Merry Christmas! (/Whatever you, reader, are celebrating!) This is my tumblr's MLSecret Santa (my tumblr's Faceted Tourmaline, look me up!) to a wonderful girl called Solitaire07. I hope you enjoy it! I have to post it afew days early so that I can schedule the post for tumblr as I'm actually going to be out of internet range for Christmas itself, so I'm just hoping that Solitaire's not one of my readers (but if you are hi there! Sorry, I hope you can understand!)**

 **Title of Submission: Sleep Is For The Weak**

 **Summary: Who needs an alarm when you have a screaming biology project?**

* * *

'This new shoot is going to be the death of me.' Adrien said, facedown on his desk.

'Bro, you already look dead.' Nino said solemnly. 'RIP.'

'Thanks Nino.' Adrien did not look at him. 'Aren't you supposed to tell me how I'll survive this and generally buck up my spirits?'

'I'm not your friend, I'm your best bud. I tell it like it is.' Nino shrugged, leaning back on his chair.

'Did you know I had to spend an entire week trying to get that forsaken thing done?' Adrien groaned.

'Yep.' Nino popped the p. 'You had to be up at six and worked into the night. Your dad had you eating nothing but greens for all of it. You were -literally- hunted by Natalie. You've told me. Multiple times.'

'I'm French, Nino. I can't possibly be expected to live without croissants.'

'Like I said dude, that sucks.' Nino seemed to only hold a barely-satisfactory level of investment at this point through. 'When did you say it was going to be released?'

'Today, I think. Time is an illusion at this point to me.' Adrien still had yet to look up.

'Hey, what's up with you?' Came the voice of Alya, and Nino tipped back forward in his chair.

'Hey babe.' Nino grinned. 'Mr Workaholic here's still a bit under the weather from being at work all of last week. How was lunch?'

'Pretty damn great, we went back to Mari's bakery.' Alya leaned on their desk with a sly grin. 'We brought back a snack, if you want some?'

Adrien's head shot up with a sudden sparkle in his eye.

'Whoa there model-boy, try not to jump us.' Alya raised her empty hands defensively, and Marinette peered uncertainly around her, clutching a mysterious looking box.

'What did you get?' He questioned, eyeing off the box.

'Well, I got Mr Sympathetic over here a cheese danish,' Alya dove into the box, and produced a large square of delectable-looking pastry. 'And for you, any preferences?'

'Can I see?' He questioned, making grabby hands towards the box.

'Go ahead.' Marinette said shyly, offering it to him.

'You guys are life-savers.' Adrien grinned, examining the contents with delight. 'What's this one?'

Marinette peered past him. 'A-apple, and this one's apricot. Y-you can take t-two, if you like.' She smiled.

'Are you su-sorry!' He said, as when he had looked up at her suddenly he came close to head butting her in the chin.

'N-no harm done,' she shook her head. 'Go ahead.'

Like a thief stealing a treat he pulled both of the offending pastries from the box guiltily, before looking at the remains.

'I'll bet you and Alya are going to have a cookie-fest behind us.' He grinned, taking a bite.

'You guys better share!' Nino exclaimed.

'Nope,' Alya popped her p. 'Girls only.'

'But whyyyyy,'

'I got you your danish, woman!' Alya shot back jokingly.

'Well I am a strong, independent woman who demands that you share!' Nino replied, putting his hands on his hips as Marinette went to sat down.

Adrien watched the box go with puppydog eyes.

'Don't be greedy, you two.' Alya chided them. 'You're lucky we got you what we did.'

Adrien hung his head, his cheeks bulging. 'I 'uppo'e.'

Alya slid around Nino to her seat, and laced her fingers together.

'So what's this about a shoot?' She questioned. 'Is that where you've been?'

'It'f where I'f alwayf 'een.' Adrien shrugged. 'Nofing new.'

'What was it about?' Alya leant forward, and Adrien could sense Marinette doing the same.

'Kihmih fahion fefial.' Adrien attempted. 'One of fe 'agafinfs I ho foots for a hot honted ho fo a feftifal.'

Alya slumped slightly. 'I'm going to admit, I didn't get a word of that.'

'Hang on, I speak Adrien.' Nino said. 'Give me a second to translate.' He stared at Adrien for a second, who had already nearly finished the first danish. 'Ok, got it. Christmas Fashion Special. There was a festival.'

Adrien swallowed hugely, then nodded. 'Exactly.'

'What was that part about feet?'

'One of the magazines I do shoots for organized it all. Apparently they specially requested me, because of the boost in sales in youths.' Adrien shrugged. 'Or something.'

More people started wandering in through the classroom door in preparation for the upcoming classes.

'So basically they want to pimp you out to increase sales.' Nino shrugged, stowing his pastry in his bag, then shoving that under his chair.

'Wow, thanks bud.' Adrien rolled his eyes. 'Aren't you going to eat that? They're best fresh.'

'Nah, we did go and eat all that hotpot. I'll save it till after math, that way I have something to live for.'

'I thought I'd be your thing to live for?' Adrien rested his chin on his upturned palm, looking pitiful. 'Don't I count for anything?'

'Nope, his reason to live is present and accounted for.' Alya said from behind them. 'You need your own girlfriend, Agreste. Now either eat that or leave it, if you get caught with the teacher for eating in class then God rest your soul.'

'You guys are planning on eating in class!' Adrien shot back. 'I can do what I want!'

'These cookies are bite sized, less chance of getting caught.' Alya grinned.

Adrien felt a tap on his shoulder, and saw that Marinette was trying to subtly slip him a cookie, flaming red whilst doing so.

'Y-y-you're French, y-you know,' she stammered, and he grinned at her.

'See? At least someone's being kind to me.' Adrien said, taking the cookie from her. 'What sort are they, by the way?'

'Hey! That's not fair!' Nino complained.

'A-a-almond and ch-chocolate ch-chip.' She smiled awkwardly, still flaming.

'Life isn't fair, babe. You have a cheese danish.' Alya reminded him.

'Sounds delicious.' Adrien grinned.

'And I'd better not see it in my class, Adrien Agreste!' Came the voice of the teacher, setting down her books on the desk with a distinctive whump.

'No, miss,' Adrien said, stashing it onto his lap to eat when she wasn't looking.

'Alright class,' the teacher started, and while she began, the coach entered the room as subtly as one can, whilst carrying an enormous crate.

'Today we're going to be doing something a little different.'

The class looked up from their usual boredom with marginally more interest, while the coach carefully put the crate onto the teacher's desk.

'Today, as an extension of biology, you're all going to be learning about the miracle of child care.'

The class paused in a moment of shock.

The teacher went back around the desk and produced from the crate what appeared to be a doll of some description.

'Now everyone here's going to have to get into pairs.'

Marinette span to Alya, but Alya was already reaching for Nino.

'Traitor!' She hissed at her, to see Adrien move to look back up at her.

'Right, ok. Adrien and I are going to be playing Mummies and Daddies. Kill me now.' Marinette buried her face in her hands.

She peeked through her fingers to see he was still looking at her, and also saw that Alya had stolen Nino's cap as proof of their soon-to-be parenthood.

She gave Adrien a thumbs up, with a sense of desperation creeping in.

'You have five minutes to figure it out.' The teacher confirmed. 'This is going to be a project over the weekend, and is going to be heavily weighted, so no one's allowed to be lazy about this. Once you've decided, come up to the front to collect your "bundle of joy". After that we're going to go through everything it's going to take to look after your doll until Monday. Please note that just "taking the batteries out" will result in an instant failure.'

Alya hauled herself to her feet, and Marinette trailed after her.

'I can't believe you'd betray me like this.' She muttered to her, and Alya shrugged.

'It does mean you'll get to spend an entire weekend with Adrien?'

Marinette stumbled. 'Oh my god, I hadn't thought of that,'

'I figure that Nino and I can just crash at each other's houses so that the kid doesn't wake up the rest of the family. What are you going to do?' Alya eyebrowed her.

Marinette didn't get the chance to answer as she selected one of the dolls.

They were completely identical, as far as Marinette could tell, so it was hardly a tough decision.

'Which one do you think looks like me the most?' Alya questioned, peering down at them.

'Uh, none of them?' Marinette pulled a face. 'They're all blue eyed, for a start. Just grab one.'

'Fine,' Alya said with a sniff, grabbing the nearest one to her and sauntering back to her seat, before leaning over her desk to talk to Nino.

'Babe, how does this one look?' She questioned, proffing the doll.

'It looks nothing like me.' Nino said with an air of disappointment.

'They all looked the same,' Alya replied sadly, before brightening. 'Does it look more like a girl or a boy to you?'

In answer to her question, the teacher spoke up. 'The dolls are genderless, so don't worry about that. It's hardly like it matters at this stage of childhood anyway.'

Alya paused a moment for the teacher to move on, before leaning closer. 'I think it's a girl.'

'Hm, what makes you say that?' NIno took the doll from her in an inexperienced fashion.

'Be careful with the little munchkin!' Alya scolded him. 'Look, I can just tell. Women's intuition.'

'Didn't you say that about that bun you tried yesterday, and nearly threw up afterwards?' Adrien pointed out.

'That was different!' Alya shot back. 'What are you going to call yours?' She diverted.

'Hm,' Adrien said, looking at the doll in Marinette's arms. 'We'll come up with something.'

'Ok, her name's Sophie!' Alya said decisively.

'I-if we can't decide on a gender, maybe let's just leave it?' Marinette pointed out.

'Why Sophie?' Nino questioned with a certain sense of apprehension.

'What do you mean?' Adrien said. 'It kind of feels weird calling it "it" if we're supposed to be looking after, well, it.'

'Because I say so!' Alya folded her arms, and Nino raised his hands in submission.

'Sophie it is.'

'Um, well, we can just give it a gender-neutral name.' Marinette pointed out. 'D-do you want to give it it a p-proper name or just a nickname?'

'It's not exactly a flour sack.' Adrien pointed out. 'What about "René"? Or "Camille"?' He produced his phone, in search of more.

'What about "Dillon"? "Dior"?'

'"Dior", like the company?' Alya pointed out.

'Hm, maybe not then.'

'What about "Claude"? Or "Noe"?' Adrien suggested, reading aloud from his phone.

'I-I like "Noe"?' Marinette said nervously. 'It's kind of like "Noël", as in Christmas?'

'Alright then, "Noe" it is.' Adrien grinned at her.

* * *

At the end of the day, each pair was loaded up with enough nappies, specialized baby food, and clothing to last them a week.

"Just in case", their teacher had said, doling each package out in large shopping bags.

'Ok,' Marinette said, cradling Noe in one hand and awkwardly holding a shopping bag in the other. 'So where do we go now?'

'Well,' Adrien said, as his car pulled up. 'I should probably have a word with my father about this. I didn't have any idea this was happening. We should probably try to stick together though, I don't want to push all the responsibility on you or anything.'

They approached, and his bodyguard made a motion for the both of them to get in.

The car ride back to the Agreste manor was nerve wracking, and during it Marinette sent off a quickly worded text to her mother to explain the situation.

Upon gaining access to the mansion however, they saw a different side to Adrien's father that had not been previously seen; he reluctantly agreed to the endeavour.

'I want it known that I do not approve of this type of project, but it would not do at all to have an Agreste fail a class at school.' M Agreste said from the top of the stairs. 'If

you require anything, be sure to let the staff know.'

'Pére,' Adrien started uncertainly, 'can Marinette stay over for the weekend? I know that Noe-I mean, the doll won't bother anyone else here, because this place is so large, but,'

Gabriel Agreste let out an aged sigh, before straightening. 'Fine.' He looked down at the doll for a moment, then looked between them with a slightly knowing eye. 'Natalie,' he addressed the woman who had met the two youths at the door, 'I want you to make up an extra bed in Adrien's room.'

'Yessir.' Natalie disappeared through a different doorway.

'That's, pretty cool of you, Pére.' Adrien said confusedly. 'I thought you were going to kick up a fuss about Marinette being here, especially staying in my room.'

'One girl is not going to compromise your safety, unless she is unusually talented.' M Agreste side-eyed her. 'And provided that you live up to the Agreste name, then nothing shall go awry. I'd imagine that doll is going to be enough of a handful to keep you busy.'

Both youths flushed heartily, and Noe took the opportunity to start to cry.

Gabriel Agreste looked down at the thing with a distinctive do-whatever-you-must-just-keep-it-away-from-me, before turning on his heel and disappearing into another wing of the building.

'Ok, this is going to be easy!' Adrien said cheerfully over Noe's cries.

* * *

'This is not easy.' Adrien managed, throwing his pillow over his head.

'It's one in the morning.' Marinette confirmed from the couch nearby, which was closer to Noe than she would have liked. She was too emotionally run down to think about crushes and stuttering. 'How long has Noe been crying now?'

'I even set up that questionnaire to try and narrow down why Noe might be crying.' Adrien pointed out.

'Oh?' Marinette questioned sitting up and taking Noe in her arms in defeat.

'Is she too hot?'

'...I don't think so?'

'Is she too cold?'

'...honestly I have no idea.'

'Is she hungry?'

'She's not taking any of the formula.'

'Does she need changing?'

'I checked five minutes ago.'

Adrien got up and threw open the windows, letting in some of the cold, fresh air.

He just wanted to be Chat Noir, flying away from this nightmare.

But he wouldn't leave Marinette alone with the little monster.

He hung his head.

'I get the feeling this isn't going to get better.'

'I doubt it.' Marinette shook her head. 'How do we even know if we're doing a good job?'

'I'm going to call Nino and see how they're doing.' Adrien crossed the room back over to his phone.

'Good idea.'

Marinette's mind went back over their dinner together; their first as she recalled, at his place.

It had been awkward, especially considering Noe had been sitting between them, making restless noises.

Thankfully the doll could not actually move by itself, but it still made for an awkward encounter.

Especially since M Agreste had joined them for dinner, sitting quietly and reading notes, not hugely even noting their presence.

'Nino?' Came Adrien's voice, and Marinette returned to the present, absently rocking the doll in her arms. 'Bro you have to help.'

Marinette looked up at him, to see he had started pacing.

While he explained the situation, he shut the windows again, then crossed the room again, this time to Marinette.

'Alright, I'm putting you on speaker.'

 _'Hello?'_

'Yes, we can hear you,' Marinette replied.

 _'Hi guys!'_ Came Alya's voice. _'I hear things aren't going to well for you. Are you supporting it's head? What are you doing?'_

'Panicking, mostly,' Marinette admitted.

Noe's cries lowered slightly to restless noises again, and she wanted to cry in relief.

'Oh thank god,' Adrien muttered. 'I get the feeling we aren't doing this right at all.'

 _'Bro, you'll be fine.'_ Nino pointed out.

'Exactly.' Alya added. 'And just accept the fact that you're going to be in for a few sleepless nights.'

* * *

It was four in the morning when things really started going down.

Noe started up again, screaming blue murder, right from Marinette's arms where she slept.

This caused the girl to spring to her feet, and only just remembering the doll at the last second.

Adrien was on his feet before he was awake, and he spectacularly fell over his discarded shoes, faceplanting on the carpet.

'Wazz going on?' He muttered into it, not moving.

But this situation was made even worse by an alarm going off.

The lights snapped on in the room, and Adrien looked up.

'Ah, you're bleeding!' Marinette noticed.

'The panic alarm!' He exclaimed, unhearing.

He whipped around to look at the windows, as previously unseen shutters slammed themselves over the window.

'Is that us? Is that Noe?' Adrien questioned, getting to his feet and rushing over.

Adrien's bodyguard suddenly burst into the room, still in his pyjamas and looking worried.

Natalie was hot on his heels, and not thirty seconds later Gabriel Agreste appeared like a storm cloud.

'What is all this commotion? Do you realize what time it is?'

'I'm sorry, sir,' Natalie started, looking down at Noe, 'one of the staff members must have heard the doll and thought someone was getting attacked.'

'I don't blame them,' Marinette pointed out, noting the cries of the doll.

'Well I want that thing out of my house.' M Agreste said. 'You. Girl.' He turned to glare at Marinette. 'Take that blasted thing home.'

'I don't want to leave Marinette alone with it.' Adrien stood up.

'What happened to your face!?' M Agreste looked at him with a tinge of concern.

'I fell over. It's nothing. Don't worry.'

'You have carpet burns, and you're bleeding.' He pointed out.

'Not any more!' Adrien pointed out, patting his nose.

'Someone get him a handkerchief, or something.' M Agreste nodded to him. 'And you are staying right here.'

Adrien stood stubbornly. 'If we don't put in equal work on the project, then I would be getting an unfair mark. Plus, if Marinette has to do it all by herself, then the overall mark would be lower, and I might even fail the project, no, the class. Do you want that?'

Gabriel Agreste gave the boy a long look, before turning to Natalie. 'Make sure he gets there safely.'

Natalie nodded, before looking at Adrien's bodyguard. 'Are you alright to drive, or shall I?'

He shook his head. 'It's fine. I'll do it.'

Above them, someone evidently managed to switch the alarm off, and the shutters rose almost sheepishly.

'See to it.' M Agreste said, before turning on his heel and disappearing.

* * *

Marinette next woke when someone touched her shoulder.

Sleepily she peered out the window of the car to see her own home, understandably with all of the lights off.

She looked around, to see Adrien loaded down with Noe's luggage, and Noe as well cradled in one arm, standing just beyond the open door.

'Come on, you're home now.' He smiled at her, and she struggled to follow him out of the car.

She fumbled with her keys for a moment before letting them in through the bakery front doors, switching off the alarm temporarily as she went without much thought.

Once he had deemed the building safe, Adrien's bodyguard turned to leave, but Marinette stopped him.

'Here,' she said, taking a random pastry from one of the displays. 'They should still be good. Thank you for driving us.' She offered it to him, and he accepted with good grace, before disappearing out the front door.

'My parent's will be up soon, if they're not already.' She warned him.

'They get up this early?'

'This is a bakery.' She reminded him.

'Right.' He looked around at the darkened shop, before trailing after her behind the counter and into the house.

She again switched off the lights as she went, resetting the alarm and otherwise checking the various rooms until the two vanished up into Marinette's room.

Thankfully, Noe had fallen asleep on the way over, and continued to slumber.

For now, anyway.

'I, um,' Marinette started, closing the trap door behind them, but she needn't have said anything, as Adrien fell onto her chaise and curled up, much like a cat, and immediately fell into a dead sleep.

'Right.' She went over to one of her cupboards and pulled out a few blankets.

A few lighter ones she pulled together into a sort of nest, accompanied by a few pillows, which she set on her desk.

This she carefully put the sleeping Noe in, and tucked it in carefully.

Then she took a heavier one and tossed it carefully over Adrien's sleeping form, before disappearing upstairs to her bed with a smile.

* * *

Of course.

Who needs an alarm when you have a screaming biology project?

Adrien hauled himself up, and found himself momentarily disorientated.

Since when was his room pink?

And since when did he have so many photos of himself on the walls?

Wait a second, he hesitated, hearing the sound of shifting above him, and the memories of the previous night flooded back to him.

This was Marinette's room.

He crossed over to Noe, and extracted a bottle from the bag discarded next to her.

He picked up the doll and took the whole handful back to where he had been sleeping, then began "feeding" the doll.

Even though the doll wasn't actually using the nutrients for anything useful, that didn't stop it from making terrible smells.

As he rocked the doll, he looked back around the room.

He hadn't seen so many photos the last time he was here?

Maybe they were a new addition?

Or maybe she was shy about them?

That makes sense, but why would she have so many photos of him in the first place?

Maybe she was one of his fans.

The thought made him uncomfortable.

He didn't think that she really was, though?

She would have acted a lot differently at school, much like all of the other fans there instead of the genuinely nice girl that she was.

Wait, I've got it. He mentally exclaimed.

It was because she was trying to support him!

She was such a good friend!

He'd have to make it up to her somehow.

He could see other photos of herself and others like Alya, and she had a great copy of their class photo right next to her computer.

She was such a supportive friend to everyone, but especially to him it seemed.

And sure, he didn't blame her for not having regular photos of him, he wasn't a fan of having his photo taken unless it was for a shoot, for fear of what his father would say if he found them.

Sure, Chloé had a few normal, if not candid shots, but he had noticed that the two weren't exactly the bestest of friends.

She didn't have to be shy about it, even if she was a sort of shy girl to begin with.

He didn't blame her for keeping quiet.

There was more movement above, and the girl in question's face appeared over the lip of her platform.

'Good morning,' he smiled up at her.

Realising all of this had brightened his mood considerably.

'G-good morning,' she replied, shying back slightly. 'Did you sleep ok?'

'No,' he said brightly. 'But alright since I got here.'

'I-I'm glad.' She carefully clamoured her way down the ladder, until she presented herself in her pyjamas. 'I can go and find us something to eat?'

'That would be great.' He smiled at her. 'Anything.'

'Alright.' She smiled, before coming to a screeching halt looking at her desk. 'UM,'

'What is it?'

'NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL,' She raced to her desk, where the majority of the photos were, flushing red. 'I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT,'

'Don't worry about it,' he smiled, and she paused to look at him. 'Thanks for being so supportive.'

'Oh,' she hesitated, before continuing to pull down the larger ones. 'Right.'

He grinned, and she fled the room.

Plagg appeared sleepily over his shoulder then, and looked down at Noe.

'So you're supposed to look after that thing until Monday?'

'Yep.'

'You're lucky it's Ladybug's turn to take patrol.'

'Yep.'

Plagg looked between the boy and the doll for a long moment.

'You don't seriously want one, do you?'

Adrien flushed. 'Well, maybe? Eventually? Certainly not now,'

'Hopefully it'll look more lifelike than that,'

'Undoubtedly.' He side-eyed him. 'If I eventually have children, Plagg, they'll be real, living children. Unless I somehow go completely insane I'm not going to go for dolls.'

'You're currently cradling a doll. Are you not already insane?'

'Shut up, Plagg.'

'Such language.' He replied. 'Is there any food around here?'

'I'll just have to see what I can find. Noe comes first.'

It wasn't long before Marinette returned, with a plate of still-steaming pastries.

By this time Noe had finished the formula, and was now still making restless noises.

'Have you burped it?' Came Marinette's parents, who were in hot pursuit of the girl.

'Uh, no.' He picked her up awkwardly and draped her over his shoulder.

'So you'll be staying with us for the weekend?' Marinette's mother said.

'As long as it's okay,' he shuffled awkwardly. 'Noe-It set off the alarms at my house, so we got kicked out.'

'Oh, that's terrible.' She replied, sitting herself on the edge of the trap door.

'I thought I heard you moving around.' Marinette's father grinned, before looking at Marinette. 'And here you've brought a boy home! I thought I taught you better,' he winked at her.

'Daaaaad!' Marinette complained, flushing. 'I did not, well, I sort of did, but,'

He waved her down. 'Never mind. I'm expecting full marks on this assignment.' He looked between the pair of them with a twinkle in his eye.

Adrien laughed awkwardly. 'I don't know about that, I don't seem to be doing a very could job of this.'

As if on cue, Noe let loose a large belch, and he flushed.

'At least you don't have to clean up any sick with that thing, unlike real babies.' Tom pointed out.

'What?' Adrien looked up at him.

Noe took the second cue to demonstrate, all down the back of Adrien's shirt.

Sabine giggled. 'Well they're certainly making them lifelike these days!'

Marinette rushed over, and took Noe from the poor boy.

'You can borrow our shower if you want,' Tom said, starting to head back down the stairs. 'Let me know if you need a towel.'

'I might need a spare shirt,' he admitted, trying to assess the damage.

'I'm sure we can find one somewhere.' Tom said. 'I still have some clothes lying around from my younger years,'

'I'm so sorry,' Adrien said, following them down the stairs. 'I can have some spare clothes delivered over here,'

'Don't you worry about it,' was the last thing that Marinette heard as she remained, cradling Noe dumbly.

She looked down at the innocent looking doll.

'Yeah, don't try that with me.' She said. 'I know your true nature.'

She transferred Noe over to one hand so that she could grab her phone with the other.

 _'Noe's been sick on Adrien. I am running on so little sleep I think I'm going to die. How's life for you?'_

With a quick few taps she texted Alya, and found herself waiting for a response.

She went back to rocking Noe, and Tikki appeared over her shoulder.

'How are you holding up?' Marinette asked her.

'I'm alright, it's pretty easy to sleep in your pocket, even when you're up and doing things.' Tikki shrugged. 'So you have to look after Noe for another two days?'

'Well, today and tomorrow. Another two nights though,' Marinette shuddered.

'I'm sure you'll be ok. And as long as there aren't any akumas this weekend you'll be alright.'

Marinette nodded. 'I don't know what I'd do if we had an akuma. I guess I'd just have to leave Noe with Adrien so that I could go. It'd be better that they both were in safety.'

She paused, before flinching. 'Damn, I just remembered I was supposed to patrol last night.'

'I hope Chat doesn't find out?' Tikki pointed out.

'Pah,' Marinette waved. 'He still owes me from the last time he forgot. We can just count it as square. And it's his turn tonight.' She sighed. 'It was such a good idea to alternate on weekends, this way we can get things done or go out and do whatever.'

Tikki nodded. 'As long as Chat holds up his end tonight everything should be fine.'

Marinette's phone vibrated then, and she thanked her lucky stars that she had put it on silent.

 _'Not great.'_ Alya admitted. 'S _ophie is turning out to be completely spoilt. I'm running on two hours sleep. Kill me.'_

 _'Two days to go,_ ' Marinette pointed out. _'Thankfully Noe is sleeping again.'_

 _'What happened with Adrien? Where are you atm?'_

 _'Back at the bakery. Noe set off the panic alarms at Adrien's place, so his father basically cast out Noe. I don't blame him, really.'_

 _'WHAT. Are you serious?'_

 _'Yep. That mansion does not mess around with security.'_

* * *

When Adrien snuck back upstairs in a shirt around four sizes too big for him, he found Marinette asleep.

Noe was making playful noises in her arms, but Marinette snoozed on.

It was certainly a picturesque sight.

* * *

It wasn't until evening that Adrien remembered his patrol.

However it wasn't hard to claim he had forgotten something at his house in order to sneak out for a while, so he went around doing the fastest patrol of his life.

Upon returning he was out of breath, his cheeks flushed from the cold, when Marinette let him upstairs.

'Is everything ok?' She questioned.

'Yes,' he breathed, 'I didn't mean to be this long, I'm sorry,'

'Don't worry about it.' She smiled, leading him up the stairs.

'Where's Noe?'

'Pére had a free moment so he's watching her.' She said with a sigh of relief. 'Noe started up just as you left, but Pére's got a pretty good hold of her. Do you want something to eat?'

'I'm famished.' He admitted.

Adrien's head hadn't even hit the pillow that night when he heard the far-off sounds of destruction.

He facepalmed, before looking up at Marinette's sleeping form.

He knew that Noe was up with her, and they had just managed to get the damn monster off to sleep again when the noise had started up.

He checked his phone, to see that it was two in the morning.

They had tried for an early night, but Noe was having none of it.

They had changed her nappy. They had fed her. They had burped her. They had done everything short of hunting for a mute button, but nothing could settle the doll.

And now with the sounds of an akuma attack in the distance, Adrien thought that everything was shaping up to be a perfect day.

Marinette shifted, and he knew he was going to have to deal with this quickly so that she wouldn't notice him missing.

Plagg appeared from his shirt front, and looked up at the boy's hesitation.

'Everything alright, kid?' The kwami hissed.

Adrien rubbed his eyes. 'I just need sleep, god dammit. My head feels like I haven't slept in a week.'

'You're not used to running on so little sleep.' Plagg pointed out. 'Can you find any coffee, or anything?'

'There's no time.' Adrien shook his head, then moved over to the window. 'Come on, we'll have to get a message to Ladybug quickly.'

'Right.'

 _'Transfor-'_

'What's going on?' Came Marinette's sleepy voice, and she peered over the edge of her bed.

Plagg zipped out of sight, and Adrien looked up sheepishly.

'Nothing. Go back to sleep.'

'Okay,' she disappeared again, and Plagg reappeared.

Adrien hissed at the kwami, _'transforme-m-'_

'It kind of sounds like there's something going on outside,' Marinette said, sitting up. 'Can you hear that?'

'You must be still dreaming. Go back to sleep.' He tried, but Marinette was awake enough to see through it.

'No, that sounds like an akuma.' She got up, leaving Noe on her bed, and started on her stairs down to Adrien's level. 'Urg.'

'Well, there's nothing that we can do.' Adrien tried to shrug casually. 'It doesn't sound like it's terribly close. Hopefully Ladybug and Chat Noir can handle it quickly.'

'Hm,' Marinette shook her head. 'Maybe I should check it out?' She blinked sleepily. 'I'll text Alya, anyway,'

'Ok, you do that.' Adrien attempted to look inconspicuous as he pressed his face against the glass, trying to see down the street.

Funnily enough, she noticed him doing so. 'You seem pretty interested in what's going on? Aren't you tired?'

'I'm going to die from sleep deprivation in about three minutes.' Adrien deadpanned.

'Well why don't you go back to bed? Noe's finally asleep.' Marinette tried to also look casual.

There was a louder crash, and though it did not sound closer it did indeed sound larger.

'Like you said, I'm sure that Ladybug and Chat Noir can handle this.' Marinette pointed out. 'Why don't you try for some sleep now that Noe's quietened down?'

'No, no,' Adrien turned to face her, sweating slightly. 'It's fine. I'll wake you if anything comes up.'

Marinette shook her head with a slight panic. 'You're more tired than I am. You didn't get a nap during the day.'

'You were asleep, you didn't see me napping.' He countered.

'I still got more sleep than you in the last twenty-four hours.' She shot back, standing her ground.

'I'm less tired than you.' He returned, equally standing his ground. 'And I don't know why you're suddenly being so stubborn about this.'

Around them, the noises from the akuma got louder and mroe destructive-sounding.

'Because you're dead on your feet, you said so yourself.' Marinette pointed out anxiously. 'I'm just trying to be a good friend.'

'Well I'm trying to be a better friend and let you sleep.' Adrien tried to peer out the window, only to catch a glimpse of the akuma appearing at the end of their street. 'You sounded like you were sleeping heavily.'

Marinette facepalmed. 'I'm fine, so you sleep! I really need to work on some assignments anyway!'

'Well I have other homework that I should be doing as well!'

'You didn't bring any homework with you!' Marinette exclaimed. 'I remember noting that as all of your stuff was dropped off today!'

'I have my tablet!' He said desperately. 'And I'm super behind!'

'You can't be behind, you're a model student! If anyone I'm super behind!'

In a moment of horror the akuma flew right past their window, disappearing down the other end of the street.

The two watched it float past in deathly silence, before turning to face each other with a stricken face, and speaking at the same time.

'Look, Marinette, I really didn't want to say this, but you're not leaving me any choice,'

'Ok, if you tell anyone about this, so help me, Adrien Agreste,'

'I'm actually Chat Noir.'

'I'm actually Ladybug.'

The two stared at each other for a long moment expectantly, before tilting their heads in a confused fashion.

'What?' They said in unison.

They stood in dead silence for another beat.

'You're Ladybug?'

'You're Chat Noir?'

They stared at each other for another moment, before the sounds of Noe above them drew their attention.

'Oh god no,' Marinette said, as Tikki appeared from under her collar.

Adrien stared in mute shock at the girl and her kwami, and Plagg appeared as well.

The sleep-induced haze was mostly gone, and he approached her.

'Are you serio-?'

'Shh!' She hissed, spinning to plant a hand over his mouth.

They stared at one another in silence until Noe's slightly unsettled noises drifted back to sleep.

Marinette flushed at her intrusion, releasing the boy, before looking at Tikki.

Together they transformed in near-perfect silence, sealing the two identities together in Adrien's mind.

'Alright, Chat,' Ladybug said. 'What are we going to do? We can't leave Noe here by herself.'

'Aren't you shocked at my revelation?' He questioned in a disconnected fashion.

'Beyond reason.' She dismissed. 'But we can't think about identities right now. If we move Noe, she's going to be awful again. So you stay here until I scout out the situation, then we can go for a plan from there.'

'Right.' He said, but reached out a hand to stop her when she made to head back upstairs to her balcony. 'Wait,'

'What is it?'

'I'm fairly certain that this is some sort of dream,' Adrien said, 'so can I kiss you?'

Ladybug flushed redder than her suit. 'What?'

'I've always been in love with you, and you're right here in front of me. I know who you are, Marinette, so,' he approached her and rested one hand on her shoulder, the other tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 'Can I kiss you?'

There was an explosion that made the windows rattle, and the two jumped, suddenly remembering their situation in its entirety.

She nodded, pressing her lips to his quickly, yet sweetly. 'I'll be right back, ok? We can talk all of this out in the morning.' She took a deep breath, reaching for the courage

that Ladybug always filled her with. 'But I love you too, Adrien.'

He looked like he was going to have a heart attack at the words.

With a single leap Ladybug was back up on her bed, ready to disappear out through the balcony. 'This isn't how I expected things to turn out, you know,'

'I know,' he admitted. 'Go, so you can come back quickly.'

And she disappeared into the night.

* * *

The sun gave a breath-taking view as it peeked over the horizon, throwing beautiful colours of gold and orange into the sky. It picked up in windows throughout the city, sparkling delicately over the Seine, while chasing away the stars with gentle nudges and waving farewell to the moon for the dawning of the new day.

It was quite possibly the most disgusting sight she'd ever seen in her life, Ladybug thought to herself from her balcony.

Beneath her Chat Noir was attempting to rock Noe to sleep, and Noe's cries could possibly be heard in far off Australia.

Neither of them had slept a wink that night, what with the akuma attack and the two needing to tag-team watching Noe whilst fighting the akuma itself.

Because of the dynamic duo being spread so thin it had taking far longer to take down the akuma, and in the timely fashion that Noe had she started screaming just as the two returned back to the bakery.

There was a tap at the trapdoor, and Chat detransformed quickly, without pausing in his rocking of the doll.

'Good morning!' Sabine said brightly, and Adrien resisted the urge to glare at her. 'How did you sleep?'

'Don't ask.' He managed to reduce the growl to words.

'Did you hear the Akuma attack last night? It was on the news.'

'Yes. It woke the doll. Again.'

'Luckily we're heavy sleepers.' Sabine said. 'But the news said that it was quite a spectacle.'

'I'm sure.'

'Would you like something warm to drink?'

'Coffee. Please.' He tacked on as an afterthought.

'I'll bring it up.' She scanned the room again. 'Where's Marinette?'

'Up on the balcony.' He spared it a quick glance. 'Taking a break.'

'I'll get some coffee for her too.' Sabine smiled. 'I'll be right back.'

'Thank you.'

She disappeared back through the door, leaving Adrien to his plight.

Ladybug appeared through the ladder upstairs. 'Was that my mother?'

'Yes. She's bringing coffee.'

'I love her.' Ladybug said without hesitation.

She swung back into the room, and landed back on her bed as Marinette.

'I'd still be in shock if I wasn't too tired.' Adrien admitted.

'What, to me being Ladybug?'

He nodded, a slight smile brewing at the corners of his lips. 'I never suspected.'

'Well I never suspected you being Chat Noir. I'm still surprised.'

'Is it alright, me being Chat Noir?'

'I couldn't have chosen someone better.' She clamboured back down the stairs from her bed, and slumped against her chaise. 'But I'm with you, I'm frankly too tired to process it.'

Noe's cries had dulled slightly, but were no less shrill.

'I know this isn't exactly the time,' Adrien started, but he trailed off, flushing.

'Oh?' She looked at him, tilting her head slightly.

'Well,' he started, but lost confidence slightly. He took a breath and tried again. 'Would you be m-'

'I brought coffee!' Came a bright voice from the trap door, and Sabine appeared through it, carrying a tray of mugs and pastries. 'What are we talking about?'  
Adrien flushed red, and hunched over Noe to hide it.

Marinette shrugged. 'We were thinking of catching up with Alya and Nino for lunch to exchange?'

'So after this first night it hasn't been that bad?' Alya said, sipping at her coffee.

'Like, it's not cool, and it's not easy, but it's not so bad?' Nino shrugged, tipping back in his chair.

Marinette and Adrien looked at each other with the death that they felt.

'How are things going for you?'

Adrien lowered his fourth coffee. Notably, this was not his fourth coffee of the day, it was merely the fourth since he sat down.

'It's that bad.' Marinette muttered. She was literally nodding off at the table, and Adrien had to save her, not for the first time, from taking a nosedive into her cappuccino.  
'Yeah, you guys look pretty messed up.'

'Thanks, Nino.'

'Did you try following the handbook?' Alya tried.

'Yes.' Adrien said, with a venom that surprised the bespectacled couple. 'Yes, we tried the handbook.'

Without looking, he caught Marinette before she fell into her coffee again.

She looked up with an unladylike snort, blearily looking around at the table.

'Drink your coffee, Marinette.' He encouraged.

With a slightly shaking hand she obligingly raised it to her lips.

She winced as Noe awoke, and started making shifting noises between the two.

'Didn't you just get her off to sleep?' Alya questioned, gesturing down to the bundle.

'Yes.' Marinette said with a sigh, before reaching down to check on the doll once again.

* * *

They skipped patrol that night, neither were up for it at all.

And still, Noe cried.

When the two managed to crawl into school the next morning, luckily it was their first class where they handed Noe up for assessment.

None of the class was looking particularly perky, some more or less so than others.

But Adrien and Marinette took the cake, and probably fell asleep while eating it.

They had only managed to catch a few snatches of sleep the previous night as well, so it was only caffeine and the sheer relief that the assignment was to be handed up that morning that kept them on their feet.

As the class settled, Alya had to pinch Marinette hard in order to keep her awake.

'Alright class, congratulations. You have survived one weekend of parenthood.' The teacher said, observing the general disheveledness that was the class. 'Please make sure you are seated next to your partner for this next step, and make sure that your doll is presented on your desk.'

There was a general reshuffling, and Nino and Marinette switched seats.

'Now I'm going to go around the room and switch off the dolls. Please be aware that once I have done this, you have completed the assignment.'

Starting from Chloé's side of the room she did just so, checking over the dolls for any physical signs of distress once she had switched them off, and removed a tiny chip from each doll.

She slipped this chip into individual plastic sleeves, each of which had the pairs names on it.

There was a frantic shuffling at the back of the room, as a few pairs tried to check last minute things with the dolls.

But slowly she made her way through them, until she finally reached the last few pairs.

She eyed over Alya and Nino's work with an appraising look, before nodding.

'Her name's "Sophie"!' Alya pointed out.

'Well, "Sophie" appears to be in good condition.' The teacher said.

She switched off the doll, and removed it's chip, before going around the desk to look at Adrien and Marinette's Noe.

The two had already fallen asleep at the desk.

The teacher cleared her throat loudly.

And then again, when neither of them moved.

Alya leaned forward to poke Marinette, who made no reaction.

Which was when Noe started up again.

The two raised their heads, and in almost a dreamlike fashion reached for the doll.

The teacher switched Noe off, and the silence was deafening.

The two woke a little more then, and looked at her dumbly.

'Thank you,' Adrien said. 'How did we do?'

The teacher looked over Noe, removing her chip.

'Physically, the doll is in fine condition.' The teacher said, turning her over in her hands, before removing the back panel where Noe's batteries were kept. 'But it's broken.'  
Both Adrien and Marinette paled.

'Did we break it?'

She examined it closely, looking at her half-exposed chip.

'No. You couldn't have done this.' She paused to think about it, before sighing slightly. 'I'll go over the records from the doll, but I doubt they're going to read what they should. So I can give you two two options.'

They leant forward in their desks slightly.

The teacher treaded over to the front of the room and slotted their chip straight into her tablet.

After a moment of loading, she looked over her screen critically.

'According to this, its playful stage and its sleeping stages were all shorting out its chip, and it would be resetting to its cries stages.'

Both students facepalmed.

'No wonder,' Adrien managed.

''Either you redo this assignment with a different doll,'

The two drooped,

'Or I give you an essay to write tog-'

'ESSAY.' Adrien said with vehemence that the teacher glanced at him worridly.

'NEVER AGAIN.' Marinette added.

* * *

When lunchtime rolled around Adrien and Marinette stared at each other blearily.

Adrien started up.

'I want to ask you out on a date, but frankly I'm too dead for anything outside of sleep.' He paused. 'Are nap-dates a thing?'

'They are now. Let's go to my bakery and do that.'

* * *

 **It was actually really fun writing a reveal scene like this, considering that I have another story going on at the moment which is significantly longer and everything's much more serious? I had to make it as light as possible, and I hope I did ok! Let me know what you think!**


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